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Written by robbie
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Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:54 |
Finally, we are born. Well in electoral terms anyway. It’s a bit hard to say exactly when we took our first breath. Apparently the last signature went onto our application form at the Australian Electoral Commission at about 4pm on August 5th but it was not until 11:48am the next morning that we were officially acknowledged as having arrived.
The world looks different now that the umbilical chord linking us to the Eros Association has been cut. Unlike the Liberal and Labor parties who went straight onto formula, we’ll be breast-feeding for a couple of years. And we’re happy to be on the tit in public as well, even though there are many in the community (and even a few members) who think that’s offensive. It’s natural for an infant to want its mother until it can stand on its own two feet. And we’re a very natural political party that believes in natural tendencies and behaviours.
To all those people who have sent blue booties or pink dresses….thanks but we’re sending them back. This baby is both male and female. The Labor Party was born a bullyboy with a chip on its shoulder from that old gum tree and the Liberals were also born as a boy but with a silver spoon stuck in their mouth and a monogrammed blazer for a blanket. The Greens were born as a really nice little girl from a hospital that was earmarked for demolition by hungry developers. The National Party was born male but quickly developed hair in the wrong spots and webbed feet. The jury is still out on whether they are actually human or not.
The Sex Party is the first political hermaphrodite born in Australia. So we’re ready for the catcalls and the marginalisation that any kid who looks a bit different attracts from the older kids on the block.
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