HEARD the one about Australia's sexy Liberal women?

All hell busted loose last week when it emerged that former Australian Liberal Students Federation president Tim Andrews was pimping flesherific e-photos of "the conservative and libertarian girls of Australia" on his website. Andrews's clever political point was that these hot and steamy ladies would halt Kevin Rudd's fiscal vandalisation by luring undecided punters with, you know, their hot and steamy hotness.

"Gee whiz," the average swinging voter was supposed to think as she pondered her next ballot paper. "I had been weighing up the two major parties' policies on climate change, industrial reform and deficit disciplinarianism, but now I remember the shaggability of the vice-president of Macquarie University's Liberal Club. Ooo-er! Give me some of that sugar, for sure."

Andrews isn't the first fellow to get all hot and bothered over conservative crumpet. Who could forget the speed with which the porn industry capitalised on Sarah Palin's notorious lipsticked pit-bull appearance at the 2008 Republican national convention? Within months, Hustler released Who's Nailin' Paylin?, in which a busty likeness of the Republican it-girl opens the door to two swarthy Russian soldiers with a flat tank tyre. One minute and 27 seconds later (a relatively lengthy seduction for porn), jiggly foreign relations ensue.

While it's always fun to accuse conservatives of having carbon-dated attitudes towards women, the other side is often no better.

In Women, Sex and Pornography, Australian feminist Beatrice Faust notes the subordination of women by macho leftists during the right-on radical politics of the 1960s. "Idealistic women were needed to paint banners, do clerical work and provide creature comforts," she writes, "of which coffee and c**** were the most in demand."

Since then there has been no shortage of civilian interest in the sizzliness of sheilas from the Left.

"She's a hornbag," one voter said of Julia Gillard, shortly before readers of men's magazine Ralph elected the Deputy PM Australia's second sexiest she-specimen (after former Miss Megaverse Jennifer Hawkins).

The hardline feminist response is to condemn any libidinous interest in female politicians. But our habit of engaging in lascivious "would I or wouldn't I?" assessments of public figures seems more of an embarrassing human tic - a form of sexual Tourette's - than a patriarchal plot.

And heterosexual chaps aren't the only sinners. A 2005 survey conducted by Crikey.com.au revealed that female voters regarded Labor's John Faulkner as quite the stud muffin.

One of the blokes polled had a thing for Family First senator Steve Fielding, whom he saw as a sexual firecracker ready to explode.

When it comes to sexual trash talk, however, the situation for women and men diverges dramatically. The cyber sleaze suffered by Palin and Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail was like nothing endured by their male peers. "Sarah Palin is a dumb ass buckey beaver bitch who has a slut for a daughter," wrote one male critic. "Hillary is a dumb c*** and satans ho," posted another.

By the same token, Andrews's original gallery wasn't nearly as offensive as the dissenting comments by male readers. One accused a young Liberal woman of being a slapper who'd had "more d-cks than bdays", saying she looked like she had Down syndrome and was unfit even for "Ralph's disabled top 200".

That some blokes find powerful ladies sexy is nothing compared with the fact many blokes think it's OK to talk about women in these toxic terms. It's indicative of a much bigger problem in which many men still automatically cry "slut" or engage in sexual degradation if they disagree with or don't like a woman (or if they agree with and like a woman they can't have).

This is not something power dudes have to deal with. When was the last time you heard a woman putting down a political up-and-comer for looking like he banged like a dunny door, or claiming that what a he-candidate really needed was some sense f***ed into him (a political strategy frequently proffered to the female components of the US campaign)?

Until such vileness is put out of its hypocritical, misogynist misery, female politicians - hot or not - really are competing with untenable handicaps.

Source: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25547675-23375,00.html

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